Sorry.

Seriously I feel like I am the worst child/daughter in this house hold. I was always portrayed as the,"oh misa doesn't do anything, she's a good girl, she's smart, she knows whats right/wrong." blah blah my parents looked at me like I was trust worthy and not guilty of anything. Well now that image is slipping. They now see me as a hypocrite, liar, disrespectful, ungrateful daughter, and all about "partying" now. This all started just now, my mom went to my myspace and saw pictures of me doing hookah(first time). And she tore the house down. I just looked at her like I cared, shouldn't have lied. But we all knew what happened that night mom which I do not want to bring up. Ever since that night happened things are just not right. I have a backbone and you know I like to stand up for myself and I know your my mom, but shit sometimes let me live a little. You guys always made sure I did the right thing and I have. So now I rebel or live a little and have fun. No I don't party every fucking day, and get wasted. I just like the comfort with my friends. It sucks when you have parents that are "young" and know everything. Or at least they think they do. What about how I feel? Shit I just want to get out of here. I want to live down in westco/diamond bar. I thought everything was okay, until I again Messs up! I am sorry that you had to see that. I don't think I can even express how bad I want to fix things.But honestly, what do I have to do? I'm sorry for the pain i'm causing you and junior, and that Jay knows more respect than me. I know this generation and what we kids like to do these days, I can't say I've fallen into it, but part of me I do like to go out and wish I could stay out til wee hours, but I don't. I don't and try not to fight you on what time I can come home, because it's pointless. Which is why I want to get out of the house earlier. I know you're all disappointed. Truth is I can't stand staying in this house for more than a week. Now with this happened I am now a "fuck up." And a failure. Well good thing you have Madi, she will probably be that daughter. I know i'm not crazy like you guys said, but forgive me for my actions and forgive me that you think it's all about me, because really It hasn't been all about me. I've been all about the family lately. Changing my ways to prioritize family time and friend time. It really does suck being the eldest. Sorry is all I can say. Please don't think I am taking you guys for granted. Because I am not. I know that may be difficult for you to believe. I love you guys still.
If only there was a stronger word than sorry..